Remember how I said that World Tour posts were going to be multiple beers and no pondering? Lies! Multiple beers AND pondering below, for your pleasure.* Since I’m a little tipsy, the beer portion is going to be a quickie.
If I had a nickle…
First up is Bell’s Oarsman Ale. The Oarsman comes in at a meager 4% ABV but a whopping 56 IBUs. The color of fuzzy, light pee, this ale has a sweet citrus aroma. It tastes like it smells, and is a nice palate cleanser. Since I had this one at lunch, I’d say it is a great “I have to go back to work but I still want to drink” beer. The ale was a little tart, which surprised me. On a scale of 1 to Slave Galley, I’m going to give Bell’s Oarsman a score of Crew Coxen, based on the plaate cleansing capabilities, which I have apparently just likened to yelling and boat steering.
Number two is New Zeland’s Epic Lager from Epic Brewing Co. At first I thought it was Epic for being $9, then I thought it was Epic for being 22 oz. Correct on both accounts. The lager is 5% ABV and weights in at 25 IBUs. Epic has a clean citrus smell, and is colored golden – like a transparent doubloon. I was surprised at the bitterness, yet it did have a citrus taste with a hint of honey. There is a crest on the label bearing the number 6. I’m not sure why it is there, and have no intention of looking it up at the moment. Anyone feeling the need to solve the mystery, please post your findings in the comment section. This is a tingly, yet refreshing beverage. On a 1 to Lord of the Rings scale (because it was filmed in New Zealand), I’m going to give Epic Lager the high score of “Toss me, but not a word to the elf.” I should point out that midway through this beverage, while I was still sitting alone, the waitress, in ninja fashion, sidled up to the table while i was unaware and also singing “Rescue Me”. Sometimes you just have to let out your inner Aretha.
Finally I enjoyed the contents of an Brau Weisse, by Ayinger. These are the same folks that make the Celebrator, from the previous post. Another 22oz beer, this was 5.1% ABV and only 13 IBU’s. I seem to be cutting the IBUs in half with each beverage. As this was the third beer, and it, along with the previous one were quite large… don’t expect much of a review. Where before I feel there was a mild amount of eloquence, my notes for the aroma on this beverage simply says: BANANAS, yes, in all caps. It ended up tasting like oranges though. Danielle thought it was reminiscent of “vanilla and mount wash, but creamy.” On a scale of 1 to Tripping On Nothing, I’m going to award this brew a rating of “I Got Lost in the Waitress’ Cleavage because of Her Lacy Undershirt”. Three out of three people at my table agreed, Mandi’s boobs were pretty epic. She got bonus points because when I asked if she had a disdainful relationship with the letter Y’s use as a vowel (because of the spelling of her name), she totally played along.
I did have two guests with me tonight at dinner, Duck and Danielle. Duck enjoyed the contents of a Troegenator Doublebock, highlighting the floral qualities. I remarked that it was as if “a flower got drunk, then threw up on me.” Meanwhile, gluten free Danielle was forced to imbibe a Red Bridge (Bud’s gluten free offering, and sadly the only GF beer at The Lizard). She felt that it merely tasted like a normal Bud that someone had emptied a sugar packet into.
Can you like something incorrectly? Let’s take the film “A Clockwork Orange”. Mrs. A likes the film for the action scenes and the violence. Mr. B enjoys it for the messages delivered in the subtext. They both enjoy the film, and for different reasons, which is fine. When you look at the reasons though, is Mrs. A enjoying the film incorrectly, since she’s completely missing the point of the piece? Or, is it ok that she views it as nothing more than a violent popcorn movie with some weird prison stuff in the middle? Are there even “right” and ‘wrong” reasons to like something? Stupid thoughts like these keep me up at night. Seriously.
In things that actually matter news, as of March 9th, I will become unemployed. Don’t fret; I think this is a blessing in disguise. If you know me, chances are you know I don’t enjoy my job. You may also know that I’m lazy, sometimes requiring a metaphysical kick in the butt to do things. I’m looking at the job loss as a giant kick in the butt to punt me toward the next step of my life.** What is that step going to be? Well… I haven’t quite figured that out yet. There’s a lot I’m considering – 1.) any corporate job, 2.) a corporate job at a company who I could be excited to work for,*** 3.) figure out what I could be passionate doing, 3a.) go back to school? 3b.) move? 4.) figure out how to become one of the following: voice actor, karaoke DJ, paid blogger.**** So, what happens next in the super short term? The first week of March will herald the first wave of resumes being sent out. The job ends March 9th, and severance begins. Later in March, my dad and I are going to take a trip together. Upon returning from said trip, wave two of resumes will be sent out. Depending on my mood/finances/the cost, I will probably end up going on a solo vacation in early April. I’m thinking Europe, because why the hell not? Shortly after returning from the motherland, another wave of resumes will go out. All the while I will be pondering, considering, and contemplating numbers 1 through 4 above. Where will I end up? I have no idea. Does this trouble me? Not at the moment. Will all this somehow involve breasts (the lady kind)? I certainly hope so. We’re about to have an aside!
Aside: I’m incapable of being serious for too long without throwing a joke in there. It is a defense mechanism or something. Seriously, can’t do it. Getting yelled at by parents: giggle. Serious talk with girlfriend: joke. At a funeral: comes up with at least 3 ways to re-kill deceased loved one on the chance they reanimate as some form of undead. You know what? That paragraph above encompasses from now until about mid to late April. Upon consideration, while the boob comment was funny (at least I thought so), if there actually aren’t any in the next 4 months, I would be a sad panda. Incidentally, my birthday is in early May. Nothing says “I know looking for jobs and trying to find your passion in life is tough. Also, happy birthday.” like getting flashed. That’s truth. Ask anyone. Probably just ask men. Or lesbians.
Ok, it turns out I don’t have anything more to say at the moment regarding my current state in life, so I don’t feel like my aside can really be called an aside since I’m done talking about the asided subject. Should it have been a mid script post script? Quick, I need an English major!***** Yes, I could probably use Google to divine an answer, but I did self describe as lazy within this same post. Anyone who thinks I’m now going to Google it should sit down and really think about their reading and cognitive skills, because apparently all the context clues and inference in the world isn’t going to help you. Could I have used the time I’m taking to write these sentences to find the answer I want? Probably. However, the English majors would be useless again. I just want people to feel special.
An now, an open letter:
Dear People Who Read My Blog,
I like to think that upon finishing an entry, you leave my humble corner of the web informed and/or bemused. While there aren’t many, I read (and often respond to) each and every comment left here. Now, I don’t think I ask for much, but I’m going to make a request now. Hit the subscribe button. Re tweet, re facebook, re post the link. Within the next couple of weeks I intend to approach The Winking Lizard (whose World Tour of Beers I’m participating in) to somehow sponsor my blog. If I had to venture a guess, if they were even remotely interested in such a prospect, they’d want to sponsor a blog with at least a few more readers than I have now. I know that a lot of you that read are mutual friends and we among ourselves have the same mutual friends, but still, I’d appreciate a shout out every once in a while. If you find a post particularly funny, touching, insightful, or even idiotic, earn some awesome points and throw a repost my way. Or rather, your other friends’ ways. Props to Teague and Janet, who have actually done this in the past.
Until next time, drink and be merry. Cheers!
Please note that this post was not spell checked, because tipsy. Also, suck it grammar Nazis.
* Though this post is not ribbed. Sorry ladies. Oh, vulgar!
** I need to give thanks to Justin K here. I’d been inflicting mental torture on myself trying to figure out what I wanted to do for the rest of my life. He dispensed some sage-like wisdom upon me: I don’t need to figure out what to do with the rest of my life, just the very next part of it. My mind was blown.
*** Examples include Marvel Comics, DC Comics, Wizards of the Coast, etc.
**** Presuming these things would provide a livable wage.
***** That is the first time an English major has ever heard/read that phrase. You are welcome. Those of us with useless degrees need to stick together.