Last night saw us taking another trip to The Winking Lizard. We had 10 people joining us, so it was a fun time. That did lead to some less than eloquent notes by yours truly, so this is going to be a brief post.
Beer number one: Bayerischer Bahnhof, from Gasthaus & Gosebrauerei. The website is in German so good luck with browsing it. This very blonde ale is only 3% ABV and has… wait for it…. o, zero, nil, nada, no IBUs. The color of hazy straw (not a drinking straw, but straw like hay), it had an aroma that reminded me of sweet and sour sauce. This tasted like someone combined apple juice and lemonade, then found a way to put alcohol in that, yet somehow only leaving a trace hint of alcohol taste. The initial flavor is super sweet, but ends with a sour and ever so slightly bitter finish. Meg suggested I use The Richter Scale to rate this, so on a scale of 1 to Ruinous Wasteland, I’m giving Bayerischer Bahnhof a rating of “Did you feel anything rumble? No? Well, ok.” I’m fairly certain you could give this to a 12 year old and they wouldn’t get drunk.*
Up next we have Piraat, brewed by Brouwerij Van Steenberge. Clearly I was on a roll picking ridiculously named beers/breweries. Since the last one was such a lightweight, I decided to kick things up a notch with a beastly 10.5% ABV ale containing about 30 IBUs. Piraat had a tart, melonesque aroma and an orangish gold color. This has a citrus flavor, is quite powerful, and sort of just tastes like I’m inhaling. Which is weird, but it reminded me of the first time I tried Gentleman Jack Whiskey. Granted Piraat isn’t as strong, but there were similar sensations as I was drinking it. Sometimes I can be a bit of a wuss, and I have no problem admitting I was chasing sips of this with french fries. On my Pirate Joke scale from 1 to “What’s a buccaneer?”**** I’m award Piraat with “What’s a pirate’s favorite fast food place?”
Last and, in most of our table’s opinion, least is beer number three: Sweaty Betty from Boulder Beer. The website lists the ale at 5.2% ABV but the menu at the Lizard, along with several websites has it at 5.9%, so I’m going with that. Clearly the brewer can’t be trusted. Oh, there’s 15 IBUs. After that Piraat I was feeling a little tipsy, so here’s the portion of the night when the notes get terrible. Ahem, Sweaty Betty “smells like nothing, looks like pee, and tastes like tingly bananas.” I probably shouldn’t wonder why I don’t get paid for this. Another gent at the table had this to say about Sweaty Betty “I can taste the yeast just from smelling it.” Apparently Betty should have that looked at. I’m giving this one a “half shoulder shrug” on my scale of 1 to Complete Disdain.
While it was a home run of fun, or at least a triple, I really struck out as far as beers were concerned last night. Ah well, can’t win them all.
I just noticed that someone at my work has an e-mail signature that is a bible verse. Now, while I feel that they have every right to believe anything they want, it does seem rather inappropriate to use a portion of religious text on a work email. If we’re going to start using book quotes, perhaps in my last two weeks with the company I should change my e-signature to include, from Moby Dick “…from Hell’s heart I stab at thee!”
Since I said “quicky” way at the beginning and have yet to really make a sex joke, here are Three Things (most) men don’t want to hear during sex: 1. laughter 2. “let me find the strap-on” 3. “IMPREGNATE ME!!!”
And on that note, I’m going to make like a fetus and head out.
* The writer of this blog would like to take a moment to address underage drinking. I tried it once** and now there’s a tape recording out there of my drunken ramblings (thanks Dave). So, um… don’t drink underage, kids.***
** Once might be a bit of an under exaggeration.
*** Ah, what the hell. Drink up. Just be responsible.
**** The price you pay for corn.